change

change: make or become a different substance entirely; transform

it is the one thing we know is a constant in our lives. it is inevitable. yet many fear it. the fear of the unknown is sometimes worse than the comfort of the present.

change was never a fear for me growing up. i was always hopeful for better. there had to be better to make life worth living. but as an adult, i have found that it has become harder to accept those changes and make them happen. this is something i have struggled with the past few years, and failing to make necessary changes has cost me. i have slowly started to become a pessimist instead of an optimist. i have also struggled with being content vs. wanting more. i have always been a dreamer. i take after my father on that one. i have a wandering heart and spirit. dreaming of life on farms and life in the city. dreaming of owning a business and being a stay at home mom. it is hard for me to be content because i am always wanting more and wanting better. but then there would always be that daunting fear of change. what if things didn't work out? what if i am not good enough? what if things don't turn out the way i expected them? i have prayed hard about these things.

i was shown that we should fear when things become stagnant. when the world is changing around us and we fail to adapt then we begin to grow unwanted things that feed off of our happiness. and even in the ugliest of situations, change can bring growth and opportunity.

but the first step to recovery is acknowledgement, right?! :) so i acknowledging and committing this year to embracing change, making things happen, personal growth, and leaping at opportunities that will bring those things.